Ah chapter 30. 3/4 of the way there.
Title: Satou-san’s best effort.
It was a Saturday afternoon and I was alone on the train. I took two trains to the airport. It was the airport where Satou-san was supposed to be meeting him. The sun was already starting to set, and it was too late to make excuses for taking a walk in the area. I had to take a train to the airport in the next prefecture, so no one would believe me if I said I was going for a walk. Fortunately, I didn’t see any acquaintances on the train, and I was able to sit in a corner of the train and get lost in thought.
To tell the truth, I still hadn’t made up my mind. After an impatient afternoon, I eventually boarded the train as if driven away, but it didn’t mean I could do anything about it once I got to the airport. In fact, I was aware that I was acting like a stalker. I looked down at my watch. Five o’clock in the afternoon was fifteen minutes ago. Satou-san would already be at the airport. She was never late, so she might have been waiting at the airport for hours. I don’t know what time their flight will be arriving, and I don’t know if they’ll be there or not.
The anxiety was still there. I was anxious from the beginning. The incident at the school nurse’s office was no different, and I couldn’t feel at ease after hearing what she had told me. It’s just that I’m in a state where I’m not able to make a calm judgment. That’s why I didn’t want to tell her about my anxiety. I didn’t want her to get hurt. That’s what I thought at first. I was about to head to the airport to make sure my fears were unfounded and misplaced. But it’s probably very painful to see Satou-san looking so happy looking at another guy. Deep down, I don’t wish for her happiness, but the reason I’m heading to the airport like this is because I have feelings that cannot be quashed, as well as an anxiety that cannot be calmed.
I like Satou-san. The more I think about it, the more aware I am of it, the more it sinks in, the more I understand it, the more I’m being tortured. All I can feel is a sense of impatience, and it’s driving me, but my feelings aren’t yet in any shape or form. What do I want to do? My true intentions and my intentions are all mixed up as the train rides by, and I don’t know what’s going on. The only thing that is clear is that I want to see her, even on a day like this. It’s someone else who Sato-san is waiting for, not me. But even so, I – no, that’s why I couldn’t bear to see Satou-san. I wish she would look at me. I’m sure I’ll be able to make her turn toward me. I’m not actually qualified to take that much action, but my thoughts are strong and tangled and unraveling. Even though who Satou-san is staring at is not me. Even so, I was a stubborn crank who tried to get to her. You can’t even see the reality, but where do you think you’re going? I can’t even figure out what I’m going to do when I get there, but what am I going to do? I can’t come up with an answer, and my mind is being carried around in a complicated state of confusion.
Maybe because tomorrow was Sunday, it was rather crowded inside. I rode the escalator to the lobby as I was swept away by the waves of people. I don’t know where she is. It wasn’t a very big airport, so I figured I’d be able to find her well enough. That is, if she was still there. It’s possible she’s not even there. Of course, if ‘that man’ had come, Satou-san might not be here. They might have just met face to face. When I arrive at the lobby, I might find the two of them embracing each other – but fortunately, or perhaps I shouldn’t say that, there was no such figure at the end of the escalator.
As I staggered through the tightly lit lobby, I looked for her. The lobby was packed with people. Families, groups of friends, businessmen in suits, and couples who seemed to be on good terms with each other. But even though I looked around, I couldn’t find that one knotted haired, unrefined Satou-san. I’ve seen her in normal clothes before. So I thought that if I saw her, I would be able to recognize her for sure. And yet I couldn’t find her. There was just a long line at the boarding gate. It must be time for the plane to leave. More and more people were hanging out in the lobby. I wandered around the lobby, trying to make my way through the crowds.
Where is Satou-san? Has she already left the airport? Did she misunderstand me? Did she run into ‘the man’ when I arrived at the airport, and did she just leave? I couldn’t believe everything until I looked for her every inch of the way and confirmed it with my own eyes. What would I do when I found it? I hadn’t even thought about that. Now, if I could see her, if I could check on her, that would be fine. What if she was with ‘the one’? I won’t be able to call out to them. Are you prepared to turn around and walk away from the airport then? What if she’s waiting for him? Am I allowed to talk to her? Satou-san would say she’s willing to wait as long as she can. And what should I do then? What do I do with my emotions, which are more impatient than anything else? It’s not a good time to tell her anymore. It’s hard not to tell her. But if you tell her when you know she won’t accept you, it will only make her feel worse. The same is true for the fact that I’ve been running after her for so long. You’re going to be able to find out more about the best way to get the most out of your life.
I run my eyes around the crowded lobby. It’s too big and too crowded to find her. There are all kinds of people. There are people lining up at the boarding gate, people looking at the souvenir shops in the lobby, people chatting in the lobby, people comparing their watches with the electronic bulletin board. I keep searching. Suddenly, my eyes catch something. In a corner of the lobby, far away from the boarding gate, I found myself drawn to it. I finally find a familiar profile. Her hair in a single knot is still the same. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen her not in a uniform. She’s wearing a denim skirt and a modest long-sleeved t-shirt. On her feet, she wore sneakers. As expected, she looked unrefined. But this may be the best she can do to be stylish. You can see her expression from here as well. She is stiff and tense. H=She is staring at a point. Her hands are held together in front of her chest, and I could see that she was holding his cell phone in her hands.
I stopped a few meters away. When Sato-san finally found her, she had the best look on her face. And yet, he was still all alone.
I check my watch. It’s just around 5:30 PM. Then I looked back at her and sighed. I had made it this far in spite of my hesitation, and I was about to make a decision.
Butter Translations 
2 thoughts on “Tonari no Seki no Satou-San chapter 30”