Tonari no Seki no Satou-San chapter 15

Decided to translate one more chapter before bed. I felt bad for only doing one chapter.

This is a continuation from last chapter Please enjoy!

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Title: Satou-san and her heartfelt words

“I feel like I can’t really express my thoughts in words, you know?”(S)

In the corner of the classroom at dusk, Satou-san says.

“I felt sorry for him, or that he was going through a hard time, but that he was admirable because he worked so hard… That’s what it’s all about, but when I put it into words, it instantly becomes cheesy.’(S)

The vocabulary is poor. That may be all there is to it. But I wonder if this is the only reason why you are unable to put your feelings and thoughts into words. 

“It’s weird, because I’m so moved by it, and then I try to put it into words, but I feel like I’m just trying to sound important. It’s like I’m just trying to feel pity for Helen.”

When the word “pity” was mentioned, I was inwardly thrown off. But Sato-san would never understand such a thing.

“It’s ridiculous to say that she is great, or that she is great for working so hard, because I’m sure she is working very hard even if it’s not in the book. I only know a little bit about it, so I feel like it’s kind of cheesy for me to say that she is great.”(S)

Putting her hand on Helen Keller’s biography, Satou-san looks down.

It wasn’t a very thick book. It was rather too thin to write down the entire life of a person. It would be impossible to document the entire life of Helen Keller in one book. That would be true not only for her, but for anyone else as well. But Satou-san is wrong. It’s too much to the point. I have to write my impressions of this book, which describes a small part of Helen Keller’s life in an easy-to-read manner. It’s not about her life itself. I would have done that. I’m going to hold down the excitement of the book and write what I feel is appropriate.I was confident that I could write an impression report that was to my teacher’s liking. I was confident that I could write what he called a “cheesy” report. I wrote and submitted my “chessy” report though I was not happy. I was spared, of course, from resubmitting it. Satou-san can’t do that. I guess she can’t separate the content of this book from the lives of great people. Of course it was completely unnecessary and earnest, but it was also typical of her. It was really her sensitivity that made me surprised.

I put my face on my desk to hide my upset face. Then I tell her a bit of a throwback.

“’Empathy’ is fine.”(Y)

“Emp….athy?”(S)

“Yeah. Not sympathy or pity.”

I don’t like the word “pity”. I didn’t want to have those feelings. What you’re saying is not limited to books, Satou-san. I don’t know everything about the other person, but we do have a lot of similarities in our relationships. You know, there are times. I mean, we don’t really know each other that well, but I like this side of you, you know? When I started talking, the words seemed to slip out of the back of my mouth. It was as if she was going to tell me what she’d been meaning to say all along.

“Yes.”(S)

Satou-san is looking at me seriously. We were staring at each other. It was a strange feeling. Normally we wouldn’t be staring at each other straight up like this, or discussing serious matters with each other. Maybe it’s the quietness of the evening in our after-school classroom, just the two of us, that makes it so. I told her in a breath, as if the air was escaping my lungs.

“I don’t think you need to know everything, just a little bit of it is enough to say that you sympathize with him or her, and if he or she is working hard, you can say, ‘I’m working hard’. If you think ‘great’ or ‘admirable,’ you can say ‘that’s admirable’. There’s nothing cheesy about putting into words what you feel honestly.”(Y)

I think so. Nothing is cheap to put into words. If it’s not sympathy that’s there, but empathy, then it’s best to be honest and say what you feel. There’s nothing to feel guilty about, it’s a very human emotion. So I think it’s best to just tell it like it is. 

After I spoke, I suddenly realized that Satou-san was looking at me intently and seriously. As soon as I saw that, I suddenly felt embarrassed. I ended vaguely, like an excuse.

“Well, just an opinion…”(Y)

“No.(S)

Satou-san shook her head.

“Yamaguchi-kun’s opinion was very helpful. I want to know what you think.”(S)

“Yeah, what is it?”(Y)

“Yeah. I think I’ve fallen for her.”(S)

She said sunny.

“The more I followed Helen Keller’s life and read about it, the more I fell in love with her. I wanted to write about those feelings, but I couldn’t get to them across properly.”(S)

As she says it, she squeezes her small hands together in front of her chest.

“But when you’re writing about someone you love, it doesn’t matter what words you use. You don’t have to choose your words, you just have to write what you’re thinking.”(Y)

“Yeah…”(S)

I was as perturbed as I was now. Satou-san’s figure was clearly outlined in the shadows. Only her eyes shined and she was staring at me earnestly. Her expression is bright. It was bright even without the sun.

“Thank you, Yamaguchi-kun. I’m going to be able to write what I feel.”

Satou-san smiled.

At that moment, my inability to stay in the room swept the needle away and I involuntarily got up from my seat. –what. Why am I feeling so embarrassed? Is it because I had a serious talk with her, which rarely happens?”

“I’m sorry…. my bus is here.”(Y)

I finally said in a faltering voice. But I didn’t look at my watch. I didn’t even have time to look at it. In fact, I didn’t know how many minutes had passed since I’d come to class.

“So, um, good luck with your book report.”(Y)

I grabbed my flimsy bag and tried to rush out of the classroom.

“Yamaguchi-kun!”(S)

My name is called before the door and I stop in my tracks. But I don’t turn around. I only see the long shadows growing from my feet. A short distance behind me, I heard Satou-san stand up.

“Thank you so much for today.”(S)

Even Sato-san’s voice, which echoed in the quiet space, sounded somewhat faltering. Her shadow hangs at my feet. She walks up to me until the shadows are within touching distance of each other.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Yamaguchi-kun.”(S)

Satou-san’s words, thrown on her back, were kind.

It was a casual greeting. But to me, it sounded like an absolute promise. If I came back here tomorrow, I would see Satou-san. We would sit next to each other and talk, watch her restlessness, and help her if she is called on in class. A day that should have been nothing but depressing. I was more relieved about that now more than anything else.

“Yes.”(Y)

I nodded without looking back.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”(Y)

After responding in a muffled voice, I ran out into the hallway.

My head is still wobbling as I run. I thought I was giving Satou-san some advice, but I felt as if the truth had been shot through me by her words. I couldn’t help it. In other words, I may not have been sympathetic or empathetic. As I looked at a small part of her, several aspects of her in the seat next to me, I think I liked her, believe it or not. No, of course, as a classmate. It’s just the way it is. If I put it into words honestly, it might be misunderstood, so I don’t say it. There is no need to say it either.

I just like her. 

I just like you, Satou-san.

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